When someone becomes a danger to your safety, whether through abuse, harassment, stalking, or threats, the court gives you a way to protect yourself: a restraining order. It’s a legal shield meant to stop them from coming near you, talking to you, or continuing the harm in any form.
But getting a court to approve means you also have to prove you genuinely need protection. The court needs clear, convincing proof that something has happened or could happen again and that it’s serious enough to justify legal restrictions.
In this article, we’ll go over what proof you need for a restraining order:
What the Court Needs to See
Before a judge signs off on a restraining order, you’ll need to show that there’s been real harm or a real threat. This could be physical, verbal, emotional, or even digital abuse. Every state has its own specific rules, but the core idea is the same: the court wants evidence that you are not safe.
In most cases, you must describe specific things the other person did. It’s not enough to say that the person scares you or that they just won’t leave you alone. You have to explain exactly what happened.
For example, instead of saying, “He abused me,” you would need to say something like, “On May 4th, at our home, he punched me in the ribs after I asked to leave. My neighbor, Karen, saw it happen.”
And it’s important to know this: if you don’t mention a specific incident in your petition, the court likely won’t consider it during the hearing. So, everything needs to go into your application from the start. This is your chance to lay out your case in full.
How to Show Past Harm Has Happened
Your own story can go a long way. If the judge believes your testimony, that might be enough. But whenever possible, it helps to back up your words with physical evidence or other people’s observations.
Here are some examples of what courts usually accept:
- Your testimony. Just talking about your experience under oath carries weight. But you must be specific. Dates, places, what was said, what was done, and how it made you feel, every detail counts.
- Witness statements. This could be a friend who saw the abuse happen, a neighbor who heard the threats, or even a coworker who noticed bruises or changes in your behavior.
- Medical records. If you were hurt and saw a doctor, get those records. They show what kind of injury you had and when.
- Police reports. If you called the police, their report can help you show that something serious happened. Officers usually write down what they saw and what you told them.
- Text messages, emails, or social media DMs. If the person sent you something threatening or creepy, don’t delete it. Save screenshots. Print them out. Judges take written or recorded threats very seriously.
- Voicemails. If they left threatening voicemails, bring them to court or have them recorded and transcribed. Hearing their actual voice can be very persuasive to a judge.
- Photos or videos. These are powerful. A picture of a bruise, a broken phone, or damage in your home can speak volumes.
- Pattern of behavior. Even if the recent messages seem subtle, if there’s a long-standing pattern, like showing up at your job repeatedly, watching your house, or sending strange gifts, that can show that the threat and your fear of it are very valid.
In many states, especially North Carolina, you’ll also need to show that you have some sort of personal relationship with the person, like being a partner, ex-partner, family member, or someone you used to live with. This matters because it affects what type of restraining order you can ask for.
The court doesn’t need you to have all these things, but the more solid proof you can give, the stronger your case becomes.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. The laws and procedures related to restraining orders may vary by jurisdiction, and it is advisable to consult with a qualified attorney to understand your specific legal rights and options.
