How Steve Weinstein Introduces Ozzie Sparks, Self-Appointed Defender of Squirrels, in Nuts To You
He wears a Davy Crockett hat made of imitation squirrel fur. His vest says “Save the Squirrels.” And he has been waiting a long time to find Pincus Ballnick.
That is the entrance of Ozzie Sparks in Steve Weinstein’s comic novel Nuts To You. In a crowded Queens diner, two college girls chatter about their trip while a man in the next booth, dressed in a denim shirt and a black leather vest, listens through the noise. The vest is covered in buttons, pins, and patches of squirrels, with slogans like “Save the Squirrels” and “Squirrels Have Feelings Too,” and on the back, in large white letters, is “National Squirrel Society-NY Chapter.” When he hears a certain name, he almost chokes on his coffee.
A coincidence at a diner table can turn into a mission: What would you do if the enemy you only knew by email walked right into your life?
An Arch-Rival Known Only by Email
Ozzie has been trading insults and threats online with a man who wants to destroy innocent squirrels. When Leanne reads out the name Pincus Ballnick, a Queens address, and a wife named Miriam, Ozzie’s thoughts click like a semi-automatic rifle. This could be a sign from the gods, the chance of a lifetime to right the wrongs of animal killers everywhere. If everything goes to plan, he will become the hero of the club and maybe even move up the ranks to senior squirrel investigator. First he needs the girls’ trust, and he has a plan of his own.
His method is charm. He tells them, in his best Southern drawl, that he was raised in the South, and the narrator adds in a parenthesis that the fine print will come on a need-to-know basis. Mia, an open spirit to anyone, especially guys, hands over the address she has been carrying. He offers to help them find a motel, and he insists on paying for breakfast. “It’s the least I can do,” he says. Leanne wonders why anyone would say that.
Ozzie is careful about the details. As he shows the girls around, he is smart enough to skip the motels with flashing red signs that read Possible Vacancies and Hourly Rates Available, and he walks them into one that everyone finds acceptable. The room is not what they hoped. It has stale smoke, a stained green carpet, and a Gideon Bible on the dresser to remind guests that God is watching. When Leanne asks about a college rate, the clerk answers that if they gave everyone the college rate, they would go out of business.
A Hunter’s Aim and a Rescuer’s Heart
At Coney Island, Ozzie takes on a carnival shooting game and knocks down five ducks, then five more, and wins Mia the biggest stuffed koala bear she has ever seen. When she asks where he learned to shoot, he says the South, then confesses that he spent a couple of years in the Army, where he was called a natural and received a medal for expert sharpshooting. Then he was discharged.
The reason is a rabbit. During an outdoor exercise, another soldier lifted his gun to use a rabbit thirty yards away for live target practice, and something snapped in Ozzie. He pointed his own pistol at the man’s head and made a threat that ended his military career. The story makes Leanne, a journalism major, sit up. Save the rabbit and threaten to kill the man? Something does not seem right. She writes it down.
- Can love for animals go too far?
- How do you tell a rescuer from a vigilante?
The Trunk Full of Questions
Later, when Ozzie opens the trunk of his car to store the koala, Mia notices several black jumpsuits, gloves, and a ski mask. “You going skiing?” she jokes. He calls them work clothes and points to a T-shirt that reads Royal Flush Plumbing, You Make It, We’ll Snake It. But there are also a chainsaw, bolt cutters, an axe, crowbars, and adhesive tape. “What kind of plumber are you?” Mia asks innocently, although the question puts Ozzie on guard and catches the attention of Leanne.
Ozzie closes the trunk quickly and explains that he does side jobs to make extra money. Mia thinks that shows he is a hard worker. Leanne writes it down. Weinstein plays Ozzie as passionate, lonely, easily bruised, and possibly dangerous, a man whose closest relationships, the narrator says, exist with four-legged, furry animals he occasionally manages to save.
Tough Talker, Fragile Ego
Mia, who is more perceptive about men than her friend gives her credit for, notices something else. A joke that he sounds like a History Channel commentator bruises him, and she suddenly feels sorry for him. Beneath the overzealous, manly, gun-toting personality, she sees that his feelings can be wounded like a hunted animal. It is a small moment of tenderness in a very funny book. At the ocean, he holds Mia’s hand under the pretense of protecting her from the current, and Leanne, watching, cannot tell whether his motives are romantic or something else.
It is also the book’s theme in miniature. Ego drives everyone, from a retired lawyer with a BB gun to a squirrel defender with a ski mask, and it makes the smartest of them do foolish things. On October 31, 2026, Nuts To You becomes available, and readers will find out what happens when Ozzie’s mission meets the man he has been looking for. He is closer than he knows.
A vest can announce a cause…
A trunk can hold a secret…
A tough guy can be the softest one in the room…
In Nuts To You, the squirrel’s biggest defender is also its most unpredictable guest.
Author Name: Steve Weinstein; Book Title: Nuts To You
Published By: Author Path Publishers
