By: Natalie Johnson
Many organizations prepare for emergencies they hope will never happen. Fire procedures are written down, employees know where to go, and drills are held so people are not trying to invent a response while a crisis is unfolding.
Grief rarely receives the same preparation, even though employers know their people will always experience loss.
In many workplaces, the plan begins only after the phone call comes.
When an employee experiences the death of a spouse, parent, child, or other loved one, managers, human resources, and colleagues suddenly have to decide how to respond. They are determining what to say, how to provide support, and how to handle the employee’s transition back into work.
For Kim Vesey, founder of My Hope Path and a grief specialist with decades of experience in hospice and healthcare, that is precisely the wrong moment for an organization to begin figuring out its approach.
“Crisis is not the best time to figure out what to do when someone’s grieving,” Vesey says. “It’s best if we can train people on how to be, not just what to say or do, but how to be around grief.”
The goal is not to turn managers into grief professionals. It is to ensure that compassion does not depend entirely on instinct when someone is experiencing one of the most difficult periods of their life.
A Familiar Pattern
Vesey compares grief preparation to a workplace fire plan.
Businesses do not create emergency procedures because they expect something to go wrong. They create them because preparation gives people something to rely on when circumstances become difficult.
“The same thing happens with grief,” she says. “If we’re not prepared to deal with it, it can be a chaotic mess, and we could actually cause the person more harm.”
That preparation begins with practical questions.
Who makes the first contact with the employee? What should that conversation focus on? Who handles workload coverage? What information can be shared with colleagues? How does the organization approach someone’s return?
Research suggests those questions matter. A 2026 Center for Creative Leadership report found that 90 percent of managers observed some performance impact among bereaved employees, with 40 percent observing a moderate to great impact. Research from Empathy.com also found that 94 percent of grieving employees reported difficulty concentrating at work and 91 percent reported significantly reduced productivity.
Grief does not remain outside the workplace simply because someone has returned to their desk.
Two Very Different Ways to Respond
Vesey has experienced what thoughtful workplace support can look like.
After significant losses in her own life, she worked for hospice organizations that approached her return with care. Rather than assuming they knew what she needed, her colleagues asked.
Would she like coworkers to have an opportunity to see her before the workday began? Would she prefer the team to be prepared by email? Did she want people to acknowledge the loss, or would she prefer more space?
Vesey chose to walk the hospice grounds before returning and then spend time over coffee with colleagues. It allowed her to reconnect before stepping back into the workday.
What stayed with her was the intentionality.
A friend of Vesey’s encountered a very different response. The woman, a nurse working second shift, learned that her husband had been killed unexpectedly in a car accident. Several hours later, amid everything that follows a sudden death, she contacted her manager.
The response was essentially operational: Would she be coming in for her shift, or would she be finding someone to replace her?
Her husband had died only hours earlier.
The nurse never returned to that workplace.
Vesey does not share the story to suggest that every poorly handled conversation leads to the same outcome. It illustrates how a workplace communicates in the first moments after someone reveals that life has changed, which truly impacts the employee.
“These are moments that an employee never forgets,” she says.
The First Conversation Should Be Human
When an employee calls immediately after a death, Vesey believes the first conversation should not begin with staffing.
If someone calls from an emergency room to say that a parent has died, her recommended response begins by compassionately acknowledging what happened and giving the employee space to focus on their family.
The practical questions can follow later.
A manager or HR representative can then discuss how much time the employee needs, what leave is available, whether responsibilities need to be reassigned, and how the employee wants coworkers to be informed.
The first response should recognize the person before addressing the operational needs of the organization.
Research from the 2024 Empathy Grief Study and MetLife’s Employee Benefit Trends Study found that 37 percent of employees were impacted annually by the loss of a family member or close friend, yet only 22 percent felt supported by their employer or workplace.
For Vesey, that gap is not necessarily a reflection of uncaring leaders. Many people simply have not been taught how to respond to grief.
Returning to Work Requires Care
Bereavement policies often focus on how many days an employee can be away. Vesey believes organizations should also consider what happens when that person returns.
Coworkers may want to offer condolences while others avoid the employee because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing. The person returning may appreciate routine while still experiencing moments when grief feels overwhelming.
A return plan does not have to be complicated. It may involve asking the employee how they would like colleagues prepared, offering flexibility when possible, or simply recognizing that returning to work may not feel ordinary.
The act of asking can matter in itself. Rather than requiring an employee to adapt to whatever the workplace has decided, a manager can ask what would make returning feel most comfortable. Even when every request cannot be accommodated, allowing someone to express what they need can communicate that their experience matters and that the organization is making an effort to support them.
Grief can also resurface unexpectedly. A birthday, anniversary, song, or memory can cause what Vesey calls a “grief burst,” when the loss suddenly feels close again.
A prepared workplace does not need a procedure for every moment. It does need leaders who understand that grief does not follow a schedule.
What Leaders Can Do Before the Phone Rings
Vesey encourages organizations to begin preparing before a loss occurs.
That means looking beyond the number of bereavement days in an employee handbook. Leaders can plan who handles initial communication, how confidentiality will be managed, what support managers need, and how employees will be welcomed back.
The goal is not to create a rigid script. It is to give leaders enough understanding that they can respond with care while respecting that every person’s grief experience will be different.
One employee may appreciate coworkers openly acknowledging their loss. Another may need privacy. One may return quickly because routine helps, while another may need more time.
Preparation creates space for those differences.
An organization cannot prevent grief from entering the workplace. It can, however, decide whether its people will be prepared when it does.
“Caring trumps everything else,” Vesey says.
A policy establishes what an organization provides. Its response reveals how that organization cares for its people when they need it most.
