Whether they realize it or not, men are navigating a changing world of relationships with their female counterparts. Traditional dating advice—chat-up lines, ideal salaries, and height measurements—isn’t cutting it anymore for men who don’t appreciate their self-worth. Grand Cam, through his dating consultancy and life coaching project, The Grand Male, suggests before choosing your next partner, you should visualize the life you want for yourself.
That’s because men are in a crisis in relationships and within themselves. It’s true that if you’re struggling at the bar or on your preferred dating app, you may need to reconsider how you date modern women. But you may also need to evaluate the kind of man you want to be and how your perfect partner could complement that. Here are the key questions to ask to get back in touch with women and your inner self:
- How do I feel when I enter a room?
Grand Cam is one of the only high-value dating coaches to identify presence as a real issue. We’re not talking about suave suits, expensive watches, or even how others view you in public. What matters is how you feel when you enter a room, whether your dream woman is there or not.
“Presence means having something unique about you that people naturally gravitate towards and are attracted to,” Cam explained. “It’s walking into any room and feeling like you own it. It’s about commanding respect, not being overlooked.”
For you, this journey could start within. However, the people you have around you can strongly influence the presence you have. Once you have tackled your insecurities, make sure to filter out people who don’t respect you. The impact on your confidence could be transformational in your search for a partner.
- Am I taking action?
From his life experience before becoming a dating coach, Grand Cam knows that inaction can cause your relationship success to plummet. Focus on the positive here: every effort you make to invest in yourself will make you happier, regardless of whether you find someone on day one. The coach’s personal self-improvement story helps him empathize with his clients and guides his sessions and programs.
“I felt useless in this world, a mediocre man,” Cam revealed. “I thought I didn’t have anything valuable to offer in conversation because of all the times my peers hadn’t taken me seriously. As a result, women didn’t take me seriously either because I was always looking for things to say to get their attention.”
These feelings, if not acted upon, can cause a domino effect, leading to feelings of deep self-neglect. For many men, that means engaging in more content that objectifies women, widening the gap of understanding between themselves and the other sex. The light at the end of the tunnel is that Cam escaped his negative feelings and now wants to share how he did it.
- How can I become my best self and find my ideal partner?
We’ve already hinted that surrounding yourself with people who bring value can help you strengthen your presence. But, while learning to communicate and get the best out of those people is essential, you also need some internal structure. That way, when you find a love interest with long-term potential, you’ll know your needs and desires from the first date.
“The more mentally structured you are, the more mentally secure you become.” Cam said. “You get more structure by setting clear boundaries and standards and committing to a program of how you live your life and move in the world.”
Creating Your Foundation and Program, a course Cam conceived, helps its participants to find a structure before they find a partner. It teaches them how to set expectations in line with their values and morality. The logic is: if you don’t know what kind of person you want in your life, how will you maintain a valuable relationship?
For single men in today’s environment, it’s easy to be daunted by dating. It could even seem convenient to give in to simple solutions, such as moving abroad or relying on short-term relationships. But Grand Cam believes finding the perfect woman for you is never impossible, especially if you find your perfect self first.
You can find out more about Coach Grand Cam’s work here.
